What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
