Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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