so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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