So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
