accomplished twins. life is a go
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize