I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
