i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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