Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
