69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
