I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize