You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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