His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize