In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
