youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Boobs are out for the taking
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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