i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
