I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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