he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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