O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm having to shit out rocks
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
