i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
