So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
