Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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