tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
