Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
