My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
