You're so nebulous sometimes
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
