I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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