How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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