hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
