Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
