maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
