i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize