Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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