I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
