I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
