i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
