i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
