If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
