there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
