You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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