I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
