so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
