so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
