"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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