I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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