look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
