Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
