it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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