and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
