And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
my poor anus
I got inside last night via doggy door
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
