My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
