I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
