So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize