how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
