Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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