im six kinds of drunk right now
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
