At least make sure they are 18
Why
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
