I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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