I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
