i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You are a genius and a whore.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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