Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
