I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Damn victory sex feels great
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
