nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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