There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
